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I'm literally brought to tears thinking about it.

A year ago today was one of my most life-altering-mind-blowing experiences of my life.

A year ago today, I left, as an inexperienced, solo, Canadian female for Europe. Scared out of my mind.

October 23, 2000 was one of the biggest days of my entire life. A day that I look back on with a fond and proud heart. I did it. I did it today. I saved my money, I gathered up enough (no, wait. It definitely wasn't enough...) courage, and set out for London.

I can still see my mind racing, trying to figure out what I was going to do when we landed. I can still hear Moby's "Porcelain" in my earphones (it was the theme song of my entire trip- I coincidentally heard it in every single country I went to). I can still see the plane landing in the early morning London. I can still see the bustling airport, as I looked around and realized I was all alone in a foreign country. I can still picture my tears on the concrete floor from where I cried after I locked myself in the bathroom and broke down. I can still picture the airport goodbye with my mom and sister before I left. I can hear Amiee Mann's "Solo" from the drive to the airport, and hearing my inner voice translate "solo" into "so low".

I can't believe it's been a year. I've been in eight European countries. I've traveled alone. I've met so many great people. I've got so many memories. I've got so many pictures. And I've come so far since then.

And so much of my being wants to be back there right now. To be able to feel the cold London air the way it felt on the first day. To be able to see the sunset in the background of the Eiffel Tower the first day I really loved Paris. To stomp around Foro Romano with Adam drunk in the middle of the night. To have my moment back in Sicily. To have my sunny afternoons in Greece. To have that freedom again.

But it's gone. And I'm so sad. It's a proud sad though. But the thought of such a good time being gone, and so far gone makes me weep. I've not cried about my time there until this day.

But, it's over. And I can look back and think about the good times. Remember the really special moments. Never ever take that time in my life for granted. Read through my journal I kept, and look at the pictures I took. October 23, 2000 will be one of the most memorable days in my life, my history.