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Humph.

Tonight I am supposed to be getting together with my dead friend Josh's parents. I guess every year they have this get together with his friends at some cabin that Josh used to like. I've never been because I've always been out of the province. I guess we are just supposed to sit around and tell stories, drink Labatt Blue, and remember.

What happens if I don't remember? It's been 2.5 years, and Josh honestly hardly enters my mind. It scares me now. I can listen to songs that used to make me burst into tears, and now they sometimes don't even register that they are supposed to mean anything. I can go to the cemetary and not shed a tear. I can drink Blue without thinking of how it tasted on Josh's lips. I can do all sorts of things that I could never have done, even a year ago. I don't remember the last time I cried.

Josh P. Venoitte. Died April 6, 1998. Died of carbon monoxide poisioning. My ex boyfriend. One of the greatest guys I've ever known. One of my best friends. I used to email him computer work so that he could pass the class we shared. 2 months later he would have graduated. I told myself when I thought of Josh I would never say "So young... too young", but I find myself saying it now, and I'm only 20.

Then there are times I do miss him. Like now.